So I don't know how it is for the rest of you, the ones that quite recently came back to your home-town/country after having been at Disney, but for me it's an odd kind of feeling of being in between lives. Like I had one in France, which is now gone, and I'm waiting for another to start here. Like what I am doing right now, however pleasant, is just a pit-stop on my way to another destination.

 

It has been two weeks and four days since I came back here and I must say that it feels longer. I think. I'm not quite sure. France is so far away and so close still, and the fact that Facebook might be the only place where I will see many of you ever again is really starting to hit me. I miss you. I mean I really really miss you. SO much. (Some even a little more than that - I don't even know if you're reading this - hopefully you do - but if you do I hope and think that you know who you are.) Not in a "I regret not going back at Christmas"-way. Just in a I miss you way. You were, you are, so important to me; nothing could have prepared me for the way people creep into your heart if you only let them and if I didn't know it before it's clear now exactly how much you all mean. I'm not used to it yet, being back, and it's not always easy.

 

I spend my days trying to build another life, looking for a job and exercising and spending time with the ones I love here. It's not at all a bad, that's not what I am trying to say, but it's an adjustment that I'm not sure I was aware of would come to pass. Perhaps it was naïve, but I think I thought that it was just to come back and pick up where I left off, albeit a bit stronger, a lot happier and more confident, but it isn't quite that easy. It isn't even a little bit that easy. Because it was all too good, and I'm a bit too sensitive and prone to feel separation anxiety.

 

Yeah...it's a strange. I'm happy, I really am. My life is good, so much better than it was before France that I can't even compare it, but there is this piece missing. And I know that when I find a job and all that here I won't feel like this, so it's fine (it's okay to be sad, to miss things, you know - because, and I've said it a lot before, it only means that it was important). But I thought, and I don't quite know why so don't ask, that you should know that this is how it is. I think that was it.