that first time I needed it, I saved myself *

Publiserat 2016-04-19 07:56:24 i Frankrike/Disney, Randoms,

För exakt tre år sedan idag lämnade jag Sverige för Frankrike och Disneyland Paris. Efter tio månader utan arbete var jag långt ifrån en bra plats mentalt. Så jag flydde. Jag lämnade allt tryggt och drog, till ett land där jag barely pratade språket utan någon med mig som kunde gjort det hela en aning "säkrare". För första gången i mitt liv gjorde jag något helt ensam. Flyttade någonstans helt ensam. Tre år senare är jag forfarande en aning överraskad över att jag faktiskt gjorde det. Det är till dags dato det mest spontana jag någonsin gjort och i ärlighetens namn så kunde det ha gått hur som helst. 

Det visade sig vara det bästa val jag någonsin tagit (fram tills jag valde att flytta till Norge da, det vinner nog den tävlingen). Om ni tycker att jag har mycket issues nu så är det ingenting jämfört med hur det var back then. Frankrike saved my sanity. Jag lärde mig så mycket om mig själv, växte så mycket som människa. Mina vänner därifrån har forfarande en stor plats i mitt hjärta, de visade mig att jag är wanted, att folk vill vara i mitt liv och för det är jag dem evigt tacksam. 

För tre år sedan vände jag upp och ned på min egen tillvaro och inget har någonsin varit en bättre idé. 

Les pléiades, also known as la merde 😉

*the other times someone else did but that's a story for later 

Life in between

Publiserat 2013-11-21 21:55:00 i Frankrike/Disney, Randoms,

So I don't know how it is for the rest of you, the ones that quite recently came back to your home-town/country after having been at Disney, but for me it's an odd kind of feeling of being in between lives. Like I had one in France, which is now gone, and I'm waiting for another to start here. Like what I am doing right now, however pleasant, is just a pit-stop on my way to another destination.
It has been two weeks and four days since I came back here and I must say that it feels longer. I think. I'm not quite sure. France is so far away and so close still, and the fact that Facebook might be the only place where I will see many of you ever again is really starting to hit me. I miss you. I mean I really really miss you. SO much. (Some even a little more than that - I don't even know if you're reading this - hopefully you do - but if you do I hope and think that you know who you are.) Not in a "I regret not going back at Christmas"-way. Just in a I miss you way. You were, you are, so important to me; nothing could have prepared me for the way people creep into your heart if you only let them and if I didn't know it before it's clear now exactly how much you all mean. I'm not used to it yet, being back, and it's not always easy.
I spend my days trying to build another life, looking for a job and exercising and spending time with the ones I love here. It's not at all a bad, that's not what I am trying to say, but it's an adjustment that I'm not sure I was aware of would come to pass. Perhaps it was naïve, but I think I thought that it was just to come back and pick up where I left off, albeit a bit stronger, a lot happier and more confident, but it isn't quite that easy. It isn't even a little bit that easy. Because it was all too good, and I'm a bit too sensitive and prone to feel separation anxiety.'s a strange. I'm happy, I really am. My life is good, so much better than it was before France that I can't even compare it, but there is this piece missing. And I know that when I find a job and all that here I won't feel like this, so it's fine (it's okay to be sad, to miss things, you know - because, and I've said it a lot before, it only means that it was important). But I thought, and I don't quite know why so don't ask, that you should know that this is how it is. I think that was it.

Merci tout le monde / Thank you everyone / Grazie a tutti / Gracias a todos !

Publiserat 2013-11-03 11:01:34 i Frankrike/Disney,

Okay so it's finished. Over. I've said (almost) all my goodbyes and done my last day at work and now the only thing that lasts is to leave the country (well I have one goodbye left, to Linn, but that'll be in Sweden and, because we live in the same country, not quite as emotional). And I have talked about it all already, so I won't go in to explaining the good this time in France has done me yet another time. I will just say thank you, for all that you know that you did and all that you didn't, and hope that the people that were the most important know that. And that every single one of you know how much you have given me.
And as a finale, I give you some photos of a few of the very awesome individuals that has made my time in France the best six months of my life (not all are mine, and I hope the people I've stolen the others from wont mind). Vous va me tous manquez! I'm going to miss you all!
 And many many more...

Om mig



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